Words from the Landlord’s daughter – Peggy speaks out…

By July 15, 2013 POTWW No Comments

We’ve received this missive from Peggy, heiress to Gimmerton-on-Tup’s one and only pub ‘The Mumbling Cranny’. She extols the virtues of the upcoming Playboy of the Wide World in her inimitable style. Warning – some colourful verbalisation follows:

Right you load of bleedin’ tight fisted *rse w*nks,

Gimmerton on Tup is a boring armpit of a town. There is nothing here but deranged folk and weirdos. My alcohol sodden father and I run the only half decent watering hole in the area and so all the odd bods and social rejects flock here on a night, like the righteous to church on Sundays!

Personally I can’t wait to get away from all the sheep shaggers and inbreeds, but I hear that the town treasurer ‘as gambled all our money away on the dogs this past six month and we need a spot of tourism to save us all from starvin’ to death.

I won’t lie to you and pretend that you’ll enjoy your stay here, or that you’ll come away with all the limbs you arrived with. I won’t lie and pretend that you won’t most likely find yourself violated in some way or another, but we need some money, so don’t be a tight arse!!

You’ll steer clear of that filthy widow if you know what’s good for you, and make sure you mark closing time, or I’ll have to get rough with you.

If you come this month whilst we’re at Seven Arts Leeds and Friargate, York, I might even pretend I like you! Maybe. Just Maybe!

Pegs

Come and meet Peggy, her father and the rest of the locals at PLAYBOY OF THE WIDE WORLD. Performing 17th-21st July in Leeds and York.

See http://www.hedgepigtheatre.co.uk/playboy.php for tickets and that.